Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
