Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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