just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
