Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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