i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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