i can't believe i had my finger in that
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
