bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
There's even glitter on my cock...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
