It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
