Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
