Moan for me like Helen Keller
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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