the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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