Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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