So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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