I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
