Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
