did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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