Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize
