I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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