U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
