im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
