worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
