You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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