terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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