Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize