yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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