I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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