P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
