haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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