Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
