before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
