Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Every concussion has its silver lining
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
