I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
