ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
