Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
