'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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