ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
