he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
