Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
