u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
