I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
