You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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