How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I cannot find my penis.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
