Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Boobs speak an international language.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
