I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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