I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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