Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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