I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
