Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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