I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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