Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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