...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
