Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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