I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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