erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
