Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
