I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
