I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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