You're so nebulous sometimes
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
