I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
