Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She's like a pop up book from hell.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
