Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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